In my head, I said that like Anna said, “It’s coronation day, it’s coronation day!”. Please tell me I don’t have to identify Anna. You know I’m talking about Frozen.
So once a month I drive about and hour and a half to get my Tysabri infusion. This will be my fourth infusion. So between that and the medicine I’ve been taking for neuropathic pain, I’ve been feeling a lot better these past few months. I’m here now and I’m writing this post on my phone so it’s going to be short. Talk about another reality check. Ninety percent (shout out to my friends who love my percent usage) of the people here are here for Chemo. But that is not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about Catholic guilt.
One of my friends told me I have serious Catholic guilt issues and I think she is right. I feel guilty for all of the positive feedback I’ve received from this blog. Logically, that’s kinda crazy, right? But I just want to make sure I’m painting an accurate picture of my life. Yes, I’m happy. Yes, I’m thankful. Yes, I have a great husband. But just because I have a happy life, doesn’t mean I always love it. I, like everyone, have bad moments, I am just choosing not to focus on those moments. For example, I got pretty irked at my husband last night right after I posted my blog. Ironic. Also, while I’m super happy fall is coming and I’m super happy that it was cold this morning, the fall usually sucks for indoor public places. I had to leave the waiting room because they had the heat on full blast?! Ouch. So now I’m outside in the shade hoping they text me back (it’s cold in the rooms where I get the infusion) before it gets too hot. Now that’s not cool. (Ha. Get it?)
So basically I want to say, that I’m really not constantly upbeat and I’m definitely not laid back. I’m just trying to share my experiences because someone out there might be feeling pretty hopeless right now. I’m just trying to share my experiences because there is hope and there is light at the end of the tunnel. But unfortunately, when you do get to the other side, or when you do get to the light, it may be too bright and it may hurt a little bit. But that’s ok.
Life’s not perfect. And it’s not supposed to be. That’s what heaven is for…